I saw his package. It spoke to me.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
