i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
