I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
