a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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