I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
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