Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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