Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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