check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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