Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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