I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize