I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
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