If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
