Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
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