ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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