My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
True college students do jello shots in the library
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
