nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
