wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
