I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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