I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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