I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
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