Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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