we have pet lesbian snakes
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
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