So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
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