You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
