Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
