In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
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