you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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