: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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