don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
