Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
