I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
