bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
