I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Randomize
