It's like a parade of train wrecks.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
