I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
