Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
