I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Randomize
