I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
