grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
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