last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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