perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I can't put those talents on a resume
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
