did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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