I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Is that strawberry winking at me??
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
