how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
my liver is dry heaving
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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