She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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