I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
