forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
My penis needs a shock collar
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
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