We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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