so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
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