If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
