I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
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