Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
