actually, I'm a sock model
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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