She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize