Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize