Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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