You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
