I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
