just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
