i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
