he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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