I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Randomize