ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize
