So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
