Whod you bang
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
