I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
