I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
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